Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
