Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
