she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
