I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
