If that was your dad, he is hot
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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