bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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