Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
