I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
