i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
