used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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