Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
