It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
