And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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