Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
