'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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