I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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