i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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