FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
