Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
