Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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