is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize