I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
