normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize