I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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