Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
