the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
