just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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