i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
