and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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