He asked to "fluff my boner.."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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