she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize