At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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