i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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