there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
