my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize