white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
