oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
