I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
