Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
