I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mom said you looked used
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
