Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
