What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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