i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
