I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
