id be glad to
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize