It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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