why didn't you poke me back
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
