So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
