doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
