Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
