He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
