btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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