If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
