the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
