U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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