If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
