1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
