i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
