there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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