dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
