Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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