Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
