She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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