cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
