that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
