carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
