Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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